What Is the Difference Between a Midlife Crisis and a Midlife Transition?

Have you ever wondered about the difference between a midlife crisis and a midlife transition? They may sound similar, but they're like two sides of the same coin, and I'll tell you why it's essential to understand the distinction – because I've experienced both.

First, the midlife crisis hits when you least expect it. You're cruising through life with a job, family, career – everything seems just fine. But then, out of the blue, it hits you like a ton of bricks. You've been feeling off for a while, maybe even years, suddenly, you realize your life isn't perfect. It's not who you want to be, where you want to live, or what you want to do. Your internal evolution is out of sync with your external life, and it's a shocker.

On the flip side, the midlife transition is a more conscious process. You see it coming, like a train in the distance, and you know those feelings mean change is on the horizon. You prepare for it. It's not an accident that smacks you in the face; it's a conscious choice. You can't avoid it. You understand that you've been fulfilling other people's dreams and expectations – parents, society, culture – all because you looked up to certain idols or mentors and thought, "I want to be like that."

But as you play these roles, it feels like wearing a costume that doesn't quite fit. It's like trying to surf in a snowboarding suit – it looks similar, but it's all wrong. You're parallel to who you want to be, close but not quite there.

In a midlife transition, you can foresee these changes, these big questions, and challenges that lie ahead. You know you can't cling to this persona forever. You're ready to let go of things, even if it disappoints people – your boss, parents, spouse, friends. Maybe you need to disappoint your partner who wants kids when you don't.

But here's the deal: you can see it coming, and you understand that various aspects of your life will change. You might not know how, you might lack the courage, money, skills, or experience to become the person you want to be. Maybe you're in high tech, dreaming of becoming a chef, or vice versa. You know you need training, mentorship, maybe even spiritual guidance, because your ego and subconscious will resist you every step of the way.

They'll ask you why you need to change, why go through the effort, the pain, the expenses, the cutting of ties. They'll remind you of the years of hard work you've put in to become who you are. It's that internalized voice that sounds like your parents, grandparents, or teachers – all telling you to stay put, it's perfect as it is.

But if you can work with this internal voice, evolve with it slowly over time, the transition becomes a smoother process, with less resistance and more flow. Instead of waking up in the midst of a crisis, you're better prepared to navigate change, and that's a game-changer.

So, remember, it's your choice – a crisis or a conscious transition. The latter may be the slower route, but it's a path of self-discovery that ensures you don't end up in the middle of a storm unprepared.